After which, as with the virus, everyone has sage advice and you are now an extended patient

Have you noticed how mobile phones have a tendency to plop into water. Break on a cement floor rather than soft sand that we know. As we do view glumly the cobweb snaking onto the screen but this affinity for water is another ball game. All too often you hear the moaning and groaning over it getting wet … fell into the kitchen sink, got soaked in the rain, left it on a wet patch, dropped it into a swimming pool, take your choice. And instead of cobwebs you now have that glazed cloud crossing your screen and literally raining on your parade.

Since mobile phones are the fifth limb for the human race and their decision to stop functioning the equivalent of a panic that even Covid would be proud of, the soaking is at best a Defcon I catastrophe. Like with the virus everyone has a cure for this condition and you are now an extended patient. Put it into dry raw rice comes the sage advice and now you are burying it in basmati and hoping it will turn pristine again but next morning the cloud is still there only thicker and more opaque.

Noooo, comes another salvo of concern, keep it near a heater and so you listen because despair is nibbling at your nerves and not only does it stay wet but the gadget gets ‘can’t hold it hot’ and the vapour cloud diminishes then comes back and you are no better off than before. If not the heater leave it in the sun, says that one friend everyone has who knows everything and if that doesn’t work place it in front of a fan and let the moisture vanish. Everyone’s phone but yours.

And now they have drying kits that cost a packet and you place the offending instrument in them, seal them, leave them on a table, run to your room and fall upon your knees and pray to the gods to save you because you just cannot afford another phone and you haven’t even finished the EMIs on this one.

Funny how these manufacturers give you three cameras and all these other gizmos that you never use and no one has ever said, hmmm, why don’t we make them waterproof and save the world so much hassle. They do it to watches which can go down to 500 metres depth (not that anyone does). So too phones so we folks can dance in the rain and go do our pool laps and sit in the sauna and the jacuzzi and wait for it to fall out of the pocket and hit that cement floor … oh no, not that cobweb on the screen.

DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.

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Written by Owais Khan

I am an Artificial intelligence engineer and data scientist.


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