Mirror, mirror on the wall. Which one of you makes us look the thinnest of all? This is largely true. Many of us have favourite full length mirrors that make us look our best. We do not tell anyone about them but we sneak a peak every time we have a dent in our egos and the reflection we get makes us feel nice. Such a mirror could be on the front of a cupboard, stuck on a wall or door and one of several in the house but it is the only one that gives you the good feel. By that very measure there is also a small one around that gets it right and gives you the flattering curves and angles of your face, up close and personal.
So what happens last week is that my wife decides in wifely wisdom to refurbish the house and give it a sprucing up which usually means getting rid of your favourite T-shirts, lucky shorts and that most comfortable slightly scuffed pair of shoes. You see, wives do not understand the power of talismans and what it means to a man to have a lucky shirt even if it is slightly stained and torn. Our clothes have history. They are soaked in memories and triumphs of various kinds. Anyway, be that as it may this time round she targeted furniture because, after all, this is the Covid pandemic era and what better way to take it on then wreak havoc in the house and the bank balance and by the time I got home my lucky mirror had disappeared into the carriage of a truck and all my efforts to rescue it are in vain.
I tried to explain that the mirror on the cupboard could at least be saved because I had a symbiotic relationship with it. No way. Gone forever. In its place this modern monstrosity that makes me look ten pounds heavier and adds bulges where there are none. This is an enemy, it was probably forged in some mirror factory for the carnival and the funny mirror department … I am not that large. My old mirror was a friend, a confidante, it made me look slim and kind of created an elegant macho alignment of the body, like I had been darting off to the gym and that is it, it was a ‘look fit’ mirror.
Now, I look like a slouch and none of the mirrors in the house can compare to my lost buddy. Somewhere, some place someone has bought my pal second hand and is standing in front of it preening and feeling trim and good while here I am sucking my breath and feeling lost and lonely and plump.
DISCLAIMER : This article is intended to bring a smile to your face. Any connection to events and characters in real life is coincidental.